New PDF release: 4-dimensionale Quasikompositionsalgebren

By Stampell-Rollier Ch.

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I remember feeling dreadful because when Jacob was distressed – for instance, if I was changing his nappy – I knew I should speak soothingly to him to try to comfort him, but I really just wanted to ignore him. With support, I was encouraged to handle him more, although this wasn’t easy for me. When I began to have feelings and fears about Jacob similar to those I’d had about Daisy, the staff at the hospital helped me to deal with them. ‘Another problem was that I hated not having adult company at home during the day and was always frightened of what I might do to the children when I was in the house on my own with them.

With Tasha’s feeding problem generally improving, and her sleep pattern becoming more routine, I could not understand why I had begun to feel even worse. Yet again, I blamed myself and withdrew deeper and deeper. Roo seemed oblivious to my state of mind and gave me no emotional support whatsoever. I didn’t want him near me now, anyway. In my mind, he was to blame, but I never had the confidence to tell him that. I was incapable of expressing how I was actually feeling. I knew that in time I would get through this, and everything would be OK again.

However, this did not help me. I could not hand Tasha over to Roo for any of the feeds, and found that the lack of sleep was only adding to my depression. I could not turn to him for comfort because I felt so angry towards him. Roo did continue to help with Georgina wherever possible, but this, in turn, divided our family into two totally separate units. There was myself and Tasha, then there was Roo and Georgina. I felt resentful towards Georgina for having all of Roo’s attention. In fact, I was devastated that he did not show any love towards Tasha or me.

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4-dimensionale Quasikompositionsalgebren by Stampell-Rollier Ch.


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